Dude to Dude – Bullying and Harassment is Not OK

The internet can be a messy, chaotic and unpredictable place. You can see some of the best and some of the worst of humanity on display … with the implicit understanding that we are all free to express our opinions.

Over time, many of us create personas through which we air our views and opinions. For example, I tweet using @servantofchaos but also use @gavinheaton – which has a different focus and audience. The ease with which we can setup these accounts often provides people with a false sense of anonymity.

But what happens when you witness bad or bullying behaviour? Do you say something, write, call it out or step back into the shadows of the social web?

I have always believed that to witness and NOT raise your voice in protest gives a silent nod to the behaviour you are witnessing. This sometimes makes for confrontation but often also leads to unimagined change. But whatever the outcome, speaking up at least gives permission for others to take your part or express their own uncertainties or fears – and that can only be a good thing.

Because the thing is … this is NOT just ONLINE. The technology is just another mask – and behind that screen is a real person.

Katie Chatfield shares a great video that provides some leadership. Jay Smooth’s Ill Doctrine blog is a treasure trove of in-your-face commentary on the nature of politics and masculinity. Here he talks about the appalling situation that confronted Anita Sarkeesian while running a Kickstarter project – finding herself the subject of a concerted and vitriolic sexist attack.

What I love about the video is that he addresses men specifically. One of my favourite lines (towards the end) is:

“No matter what scene on the internet is your scene, if you are a dude on the internet and you see other dudes in your scene harassing women or transgender people or anyone else who is outside of our little privileged corner of the gender spectrum, we need to speak up. We need to treat this like it matters. We need to add humanity into our scene to counteract their detachment from their humanity.”

I couldn’t have said it better myself. Take a few minutes to watch this clip – and then think about your scene – work, home, politics, sport, online and off. Find ONE way to add humanity into your scene and you will make this world a better place.

Comments

  1. Great write up, you are absolutely right i fully agree with you. Thanks a lot for your best complement.

  2. well that was an great article i am agreed with you.

  3. Thank you Gavin for the great post. I thought that Ill Doctrine video was well put, and glad it resonated with the target ‘dude’ audience too. It was a great comment to see it on Sarkeesian’s blog – and a good nod that being feminist doesn’t necessarily mean you are a ‘manhater’. I, too, followed the targeted assault on her with extreme dismay.
    I’m wondering, since you’re familiar with the power of aliases, what you think of @Karoli’s suggestion for a verified authentic identity system online — http://www.drumsnwhistles.com/2012/07/10/from-the-bully-files-2012-edition/ — and who (else besides SAP?) would be best to propose and seriously implement such a system?
    best,
    -m

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