Trade Your Child

Childtrader In the tradition of Marry Our Daughter, the Child Trader website is now open for business. Now you have the opportunity to trade that difficult or problem child for a sleeker, more compliant model. Simply login and begin bartering.

The site has a handy FAQ which answers many of the questions you would never dare to ask — including this one:

My child is pretty run-down. Should I still consider trading him/her?
Yes! One man’s garbage is another man’s gold, so don’t count your kid out of trading eligibility just because of bad skin, awkward arms or thick glasses. Many parents find these traits adorable in trades, especially if they find their child too handsome, too athletic or too intelligent. Do you consider those bad traits? Some trading parents do.

As with the Marry Our Daughter site, this one challenges both taste and morality. The scary thing is, that some people may well think it is legitimate.

Comments

  1. I’m 7 months pregnant and about to embark on the whole child journey so what a relief to think that I could trade it in if it’s not the of child we’re after . . . ;)

  2. Jen … One (wo)man’s garbage is another (wo)man’s gold ;)

  3. Daily Contempt says:

    “Child Trader Child Exchange Network isn’t about not loving childing. Its about finding a family that can love them more. ”
    “There are many reasons why parents may elect to participate in a child trade:
    * – Child is unmanageable or too manageable,
    * – Child is too sick or so well that rearing does not pose sufficient obstacle,
    * – Child is of the wrong gender,
    * – Too many children of one gender, with none of the other,
    * – Child is too old or too young,
    * – Child is too proficient or deficient at a particular sport or musical instrument,
    * – Just don’t like the kid you have.”
    I’d trade my bother for Olivia :)

  4. this is fucked up

  5. I have a child who is a good fit for me. The problem she’s an only child. Do people here always trade. Do some ever just give their child up to a home that would be a better fit for them? I’ve always wanted another daughter and she a sister.

  6. I’d be interested in trading my son for an elementary-age appearing robot. Think of the money I’ll save by not buying bigger clothes each year! Robot must like Scooby Doo as that’s the majority of the my current child’s DVD collection.
    Willing to throw in family dog! (<— check out the value pack, right??)

  7. I want to trade andrew in for a new child
    if you would make us that trade we will be happy
    thank you so much we don’t like are kid

  8. i’m worried that my child is so awful that no one else will want him. do many others experience this?

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